Saturday, September 18, 2010

Contentment

Looking at my life, I realize it's cluttered, it's messy- at times downright chaotic.  There are days I feel like I'm going at warp speed on a pogo stick with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back.  It can be frightening, frustrating, and exhausting.  But at the end of the day?  It's 100% worth it.  I love my life; I love the people in it, the challenges it presents, the knowledge I gain daily, the ups, the downs, the upside downs- all of it.
Are there things I would change if I could?  Or course- doesn't everyone have things they'd change if they could?  But...if I spend all my time focusing on what "needs" changing... I miss the absolute blessing that creation can be, or as I once put it: If you spend your entire life waiting for the other shoe to drop, you'll remain blind to the everyday miracles surrounding you.  Absolutely true, and even at my darkest moments, I do the best I can to remind myself of my words.

Sometimes...it's not easy.  There have been countless days I wanted to simply give up, get out, run away- whatever it took, really.  But those days are so few and far between now and even when I do let myself sink back into the darkest corners of my mind- I don't let myself stay there.

Life is temporary.  Why on earth should we remain miserable, when the alternative is so much better?

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